We all fail sometimes in our clumsy journey, and many times we barely move in and out of bed for basic tasks. We try to keep ourselves in standards, but those who made those rules were either drunk or out of their mind. We have to grow up without love around us, to learn the hard way that life is full of challenges, and we have to accept it because “everyone does”. We are sailing on these waves of life, one foot above the drowning stage, and we have to put so much effort sometime to just keep it in a stable state. Unless your life vehicle is a yacht, most of the time we are just going on our journey in a paddle-boat, or even a small kayak. We count on our own powers, when hands get tired, we need to stay still, take that break and keep on going after rest. But all these days are wasted in front of our eyes, and many times we think we cannot change it. We have hidden secrets that not many talks about, yet, we still have willpower. We are imprisoned in our mentality, based on our experiences, beliefs, and expectations. We had to deal with so many difficulties and we don’t know what is a life without struggles and is still fine. We can change it, we can break those chains even though it seems impossible at this time. We should give time for heartbreaks to heal, for the dust to settle and for people to move on. However, there are some golden rules that we can consider at a certain point in this life.
“If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.”
― Dr Roopleen
The first rule is that you shouldn’t blame others for shining love into the darkest corners of your heart. The second rule is that you shouldn’t be upset about those bringing you peace in the chaos you have in mind. The third is that you should be never left behind by the ones that you believed in, but now you should leave the fear that was the one that took over your life. The most important is that no one should tell you how to feel and how to love, you are free to live your life the way you desire. We are only deciding if we want to participate with you or not, and those people that we leave to come into our lives should be the ones that make us feel fulfilled. For that we have willpower, we can choose more carefully, and so do you. I don’t know you but I would continue to make decisions for what is good for me. What would you do if you’ll know you cannot fail? You don’t know? It is perfectly fine and you will discover what is best for you when you’ll either be curious about or ready. However, this is what I would do: I will look from the outside, I will do some window shopping, inspecting the facade and the charade they leave everyone to see. If I like it, I will enter to check out the space and decide later for further steps. The way it looks inside, the way it smells, the way it presents it is very important to help me make a decision. If I really want to stay for a coffee I might ask them for one. How does that coffee taste? Is sweet and pleasant, has a few spices, has milk, or is black and bitter? If I will enjoy it enough, I might return for lunch and stay for dinner, but if they will never see me again in their life, I will remember that the coffee that I received was not the one I was looking for in my future. It can’t be that easy you will say, but if we will take some time to enjoy a cup of coffee with everyone we meet in life, many of our disappointments will dissipate and vanish. We forgot to lift that cup and take small sips before returning to the conversation. We are in rush, grabbing on the way a venti cup, too big to carry, too much to enjoy it. We cover it, and without looking we gulp it in hurry.
“There is a secret for greater self-control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention.”
― Kelly McGonigal
We might not always win, because there is not always a competition. Sometimes are lessons to learn, to give, or just to feel emotions. Every stone we step on and every path we take is based on our willpower. Even when we are getting to crossroads where on the left there is nothing right, and on the right, there is nothing left, we still have to move forward. From the many options we have we trim them and in the end are only two of them: the battle between the heart that believes in our dreams and the thoughts that fight them back. To surrender would be too easy and giving up would be a sin. We see in others what they can’t see even when looking in the mirror, and we get the urge and need to help them believe again, and give unsolicited advice. But we can only know for ourselves what is our purpose and what should count in our lives. We can’t be responsible for others people’s actions, their trauma, their loss, and their imagination that leads them to this mess. We are the only ones that run to win the prize and the ones that put the obstacles in front of us. We make mistakes and also judge for them, we lose our hope just to find it always in our hearts. We are running to catch the falling stars, to have our dreams fulfilled, but we forget that first, we have to face our enemies: temptation, self-criticism, and stress.
“The biggest enemies of willpower: temptation, self-criticism, and stress. (…) these three skills —self-awareness, self-care, and remembering what matter most— are the foundation for self-control.”
― Kelly McGonigal
Regardless of all the mess around us, of those people that lied to us when we trust them the most, of those who never take their time to listen, we are the only ones responsible for our lives. We need to anchor our roots deep in the soil, to take our time and build a solid foundation because we come on this life alone, and in the end, we exit it the same way. To be able to face the challenges from this life on earth we need strength, we need to be honest with ourselves and learn from every mistake and person that we meet. The challenges will be numerous, too many sometimes to be able to understand the reason for having to go through everything. Our heart should be the center of ourselves, the ones that keep us in equilibrium, and the ones that would always show us the directions and the path we need to take. We follow our intuitions and we overcome most of our challenges. We always have our willpower to decide, and even when we do mistakes and fail in life, we have to keep on moving forward. One day every piece of this puzzle will fall into its place, and looking at the big pictures will be able to analyze and understand that was a journey that we created piece by piece in the most beautiful experience we could ever have. We had a life on Earth, we loved, we cried, we worried and we hoped, but most important for all would be that we had the will to dare to live them all and still stand our ground, rise from ashes and become every time a better version of ourselves. In the end, we will only remember how much we loved you so much when we didn’t even want to try it. Don’t choose to keep it quiet, to save your heart from pain, keeping that pale heart away from love and passion. Should we have regrets when we stop counting the results? No, because we have willpower and even though we could leave a long time ago, we trust our hearts and stay, because life on Earth is an amazing journey, even when it hurts.
“Power is not about outer force and control, but rather the power of self-presence and genuine self-control. By attaining complete self-control and realizing a truly integrated self, we will no longer seek an outer expression of power and will use power only when truly needed.”
― Shai Tubali