“Losing people you love affects you. It is buried inside of you and becomes this big, deep hole of ache. It doesn’t magically go away, even when you stop officially mourning.”
― Carrie Jones
We create connections with the people who surrender us and we wish to have them around for the rest of our lives. We cherries the moments as long as they last, but also we create attachments with them, and it gets tough to let them go. The loss of someone loved is very hard because we will never see their physical appearance and what is left are only the memories we keep with them. We are mortal, and we have limited days to experience this life on earth, but we also live in a cycle where we are born, we grow and then we diminish in the sweet and welcoming soil. Plants, and animals, stars and rocks, all go through that cycle of existence, and the same way we don’t interfere in their process, we should keep the same process for humans. Mourning is our selfish way to keep the loved one closer because whoever passes on the other realms, founds peace and acceptance. With our energy, we create cords of attachment and keep them stuck. Is essential to heal ourselves, to grief, and to come to an agreement with ourselves, but is vital to release the ones who are not around us also. It is painful and is tough to even accept, but is very important to not keep the energies stuck. We are allowed to cry, to deny the unfair decision of God, to get angry, and to suffer in silence, but we are doing this to heal ourselves. We are allowed to weep and clean our eyes, but we should come to acceptance before we are going to keep prisoner someone that passes for too long in our minds. We are following the cycle of life, and we can’t interfere in the process, limit the mourning in small doses.
“What I was afraid of was my own grief, the weight of it, the ineluctable corrosive force of it, and the stark awareness I had of being, for the first time in my life, entirely alone, a Crusoe shipwrecked and stranded in the limitless wastes of a boundless and indifferent ocean.”
― John Banville
The loss was probably not even one of your memories, but maybe a heartbreak was. Is not always necessary for someone to die, he can only choose to take a different path and leave behind whatever doesn’t serve his purpose. The process is very similar, with the mourning of a loss. A bird sings louder and often when feels free, and a wild animal will return in the backyard for the food you give, without your domestic interference. We are free spirits, that travel in this world, driven by passion, desire, curiosity, and we need to experience the different situations to successfully accomplish our engagements in this life. We are living in a busy plaza where everyone passes from there but goes in his direction, and just because we intersect with some other souls, doesn’t mean we have to keep them stuck and hold them from their journey. We have our days counted, and our train does not stop in every station, we share the space in time, but we are on our own journey. When our stops come, we need to step aside and take the next connection. If we get attached from someone that was in our life only for few stations will going to miss our destination, and they will get lost too. Is important to let people follow their dream, passions and their way, even though is painful and it hurts. hopefully few stops alone in an empty wagon would bring clarity and understanding for all of us, and to understand that mourning should come only in small doses.
“Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”
― Lemony Snicket
We cry when we get filled with strong emotions and we cannot find a place to add them all. We let them roll, we wipe sad eyes, and we release the burdens. Probably tears were created for us to stop and recalibrate the compass of our journey. The act from the stage is sometimes interrupted by the curtains that drop to change the background and the costumes. We need a break to pull, we need to stop to powder and to refresh our makeup. We need to cry, even does not help, but a good session of weeping can act as a curative solvent. There is no miraculous reaction with the tears but is the pause we take to stop our repetitive activities. Our house is not going to change when we wipe the dust, but sometimes we stop and clean everything because we need to unclog what was stuck. Mourning is just a pause we need to take to release and to put things back in order.
“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
We are stronger than we think, we are capable of great achievements, and the power we get when we are able to put aside the grief and to take care of our beloved ones in those hard moments should only make us look within to see our true worth. The ones that passed, were outside of your soul, what is left is only within us, and we should care more for what is left than what is gone. Complicated people with many sides, conflicting our wants, and desires, all compacted in a mortal form, weak in front of our own fears. We need to care about our internal integration unless we want to risk external disintegration.
I welcome you to follow the tale of that young lady who learned that sometimes mourning should be only kept in small doses for the ones that left, passed or that doesn’t share the energy with us, and should never be kept stuck, as she continued her journey in her life on Earth …
….continue reading the rest of the tale in PART 42