“It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them because, in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
― Anne Frank
We are what we create and what we want to show to the audience. But life is not a stage for different characters, and we do not act for a round of applause. We can improve ourselves to exhaustion and the critics will still underline our flaws with a red marker. I found it a hypocrite-comedy to let others that barely know our names predict the outcome of our success when they barely drag their ego and their pride. We are on our stage, but we don’t perform for others, but for our old versions of ourselves, that laugh in front of our eyes when they see us running without shoes over the thorns. We are hunted by our past and would not drop the swords unless we face the memories with all the fears we could have. We have to go throw that darkness and be mortified by the old burdens, to be able to move forward, but sometimes we abandon the fight before we even start it. We are surrounded by so much passion and beauty, we have around harmony and peace, but unless we overcome our doubt from the past, the veil will not lift, and everything will be perceived through the foggy net. We cannot see the beauty in people around us if we are filled with venom, our lungs cannot breathe the fragrance of love unless we drained the hate from our veins. I am done with hoping because we cannot have trust and have acceptance from people that still carry on their burdens. We can only get up and start the journey with our own expectations.
“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”
― John Lennon
We should have a retreat every once in a while, away from our family and friends. A cleansing of our souls, for our thoughts and feelings. We can drain the old blood and replace it with a new one, but who is going to investigate our mental health? We need some time alone, in a lake house, with glass walls and mirrors in every corner of that place. We need to face our own behaviors, we need to see what others are forced to accept every day from us. We need to sit in there, to ask all of our questions, and to be demanded to answer them as well. We cannot only appeal to and control people, but we also need to face our own weaknesses, and we need to swallow our cruel words to feel the acid burning our guts the same way are burning those are thrown on. We have expectations and we want to overshadow, but in front of ourselves, how many will have the courage to lift their eyes and to face their true reasons from behind the mask. We don’t have the time to sit and clean our own damages, but one day we will be contrived to do it because life has patience only until don’t have it anymore.
“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”
― Tom Bodett
With empty cups and time apart, we can restore to our lives, ready to embrace the changes. We should really use hope as a final wish when we lost everything and there isn’t another path behind that wall. That is the time to have hope. We hope too often and we put our dreams and wishes in arms that are already filled with theirs. We hope to stay alive, we hope to get another chance, but we should not hope for things and feelings that need our work in it. The ones that got another chance while hoping, ‘ve learned to appreciate this life in all the small details. We hope to climb to the top until we are forced to jump from the stiff cliff and accept the drowning in the ocean. We hope for another chance from people that move on a long time ago, just to keep stuck the beauty that waits around the corner. We should resume our hope for later, and we should build the bridge with our powers, and if there is any regret that keeps our fall behind, have faith and burn it too. We can create and we can build from scratch always a new one, but what is chasing us should never get the trust and hope.
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
― Alexander Pope
We are carrying our failures tighten from our wrists like a stone that we are forced to carry, and we hope it would get easier in time. We are jumping in the water to make it seems that is not that heavy, but before we realize that we are drowning and are not helping but filling ourselves with more failure. We are on our own for the most important aspects of this life, and what we should truly hope is to have the strength and determination to fight with our despairs and to rise from ashes. We are the only one who keeps the line with our demons, we are alone when we face our anxiety and we are the only one who can make us choose to get up and walk. We came alone and we will die alone, what we should hope exactly for?
I welcome you to follow the tale of that young lady who learned that sometimes we are the only ones we can hope for strength, power, and dreams as she continued her journey in her life on Earth …
….continue reading the rest of the tale in PART 43