We are trying to fit in the society like a rock in a bottle, and with all the struggle in the end we become only sand took away by the wind. Our beliefs brought us to stand in front of the audience, and get examined from each angle like we are checked only for imperfections. From one side we look smooth and soft, another angle shows sharp corners that throw us in a labeled category. We think that what the mirror shows us in the morning, is what we are and others see, but eyes that watch us see who we are only from their own lens and perspective. We should not be surprised if for some people we shine and for others, we stir whatever dark side they have inside. We share moments in time with others, but each of them sees only one episode from our lives, how can we convince someone about our beauty in an act when they can’t see the whole play? We lose patience and interest when what we see doesn’t fit with our pattern, and we want perfection when inside of us we are getting rotten. We should be able to see the beauty of people at any moment we meet them because flaws and imperfections have their beauty too. Not perfection makes us who we are, but the fact that in any period of time we can be who we are without being scared that we will not get accepted, makes us rise. When we don’t fit in a group or we out-grown our friends’ circle, it is fine to shift direction and choose what makes more sense for us in that period. When winds and rain goes over our beliefs and wash away the old patterns, we cannot recognize anymore the types that were once familiar and our expectations change as well.
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller
We are concerned about how others see us and we forget to remember who we are. We are labeled since birth with our race, religion, and social status, and we accept it without any intention to change it. We are thought to behave and to follow certain rules because bad behavior is not accepted and we will be judged. By whom? By the same people that put us on a pedestal only to throw with stones or the ones that can only show affection when are in a need of something? We are so focused to be accepted and behave that we forget who we really are. Is it a true face or is it a mask we wear to be able to fit in a group or standards? We don’t dare to stand for our rights because a rebellious mind is labeled, we are afraid to share our sexual desires because we get misunderstood, we are afraid to show our status the way we are to not be judge based on friends and family. We try to look perfect in social media pictures, just to lose the fake smile after the shot was made. We feel conflicted with our true self and we leave ourselves influenced and bombarded by the thoughts that make it impossible to realize: who am I? First of all, we are beautiful the way we are, and we have in us everything we need to make us shine and feel perfect. Behind the masks are wounds and scars, we have our insecurities and flaws, we have the beliefs that we carry on our shoulders for generations. We are so strong that even in the worst moments of our lives, we thrived and we rise. We are our own model, we are our own type, and our expectations should focus only on staying real because the hardest part is to discover that beneath a mask is just a lost soul that cannot see his beauty.
“If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask… with nothing beneath it?”
― Jodi Picoult
We are adults and we get lost in our responsibilities, just to realize that we are just grown-up children with tantrums and frustrations. We try to fit in the society, to have good behavior in our family, and to give the best of us. We are looking only to improve our image and be exactly what is expected us to be. We try so hard to keep the morality and strength to face the obstacles that we forget the simple sense of life. We forget to play and to feel joy, we are concerned about others’ truth, we leave ourselves influenced by others, and in the end, we choose our path pretending that we are happy. We are not, and even though we have some moments when things are working great and we feel the joy of life, we try so hard that in the end, it doesn’t even matter. Our choices are lost back in our childhood when we’ve been taught what is good and bad, what is accepted and what is not. We are acting on a big stage called life and we get our vibe from crowded places, which makes us stand out when in fact we have not blended in a group as individuals but as a mass of people. Obedient little children souls in an adult body, we try to fit in types of others expectations while pretending that was our choice and everything is our destiny.
“After all, what was adult life but one moment of weakness piled on top of another? Most people just fell in line like obedient little children, doing exactly what society expected of them at any given moment, all the while pretending that they’d actually made some sort of choice.”
― Tom Perrotta
We are the givers and receivers, but we should never ask someone to give us more than they can have, as well we cannot put heavy loads in others hands. When we don’t have expectations is easy to not get disappointments, but that is possible only in theory. We create false memories when we dream of things to happen, and in a state of confusion, we can’t discern the truth from lies. We imagine people for what they are not, and we feed our thoughts with expectations that only distort the reality, like a bent mirror, that doesn’t break and share sharp edges, but makes everything looks confusing. We feel the heartbreak in our bones and only when we find ourselves in our safe space we realize what our types and expectations are in our best interest. We are crowded by imagines that seem to fit but only hold a false mask, and we need to shred the old beliefs to be able to see the new life in a new way. Time apart from judgment and critique eyes can bring us the peace we seek. The acknowledgment that the types and expectations are not carved in stone. Always we can lead to a new perspective and a new approach, to have a fresh start and a new beginning.
“You don’t ask nobody to give what they can’t give, or be what they can’t be. You’ve learned that you got a headstart on heartbreak.”
― Jack Farris
I welcome you to follow the tale of that young lady who understood that certain types and expectations are only based on beliefs and the true self seen with flaws and imperfections made her move on from any situation as she continued the journey in this life on Earth.
….continue reading the rest of the tale in PART 51