“At the end that was the choice you made, and it doesn’t matter how hard it was to make it. It matters that you did.”― Cassandra Clare
You are free to make whatever choice you want, but you are not free from the consequences of your choices. When there is a choice to be made is never ours, because we already decided what we wanted. Is the faith and hope you put in someone’s else hands. This is what kills me the most in this life on Earth. Why we have to leave our lives in someone’s else hands to decide the future for us? I wished something with all my heart and I was willing to give it all, but then is a choice to be made. My life would change forever, and a new path would follow after the choice is made. All these crossroads, just make the journey so complicated, and the roads so tangled. I always wonder if other choices were being made, how would my life look like today?
The choices I made with my first kiss, my first night of love, my first heartbreak, my first marriage, would change the person I am today? Probably it would and that would change my purpose in life also. To have the power to reunite two broken hearts that shared their life together and came to a crossroads when things feel impossible to recover, would be a gift to have or a curse? I would change that choice I have for my soul protection or I should be grateful that I could heal two hearts that almost lost each other?
First, was my indecisions that came with youth age when being petrified in front of the words he told me in the night with the silver moon he loves someone else. Not even the sweet escapes from the front window after the train passes close to midnight would count anymore. Walking in the dark with fear but excitement for a few hours before things will disappear in the morning would not care anymore, either. A choice was made already.
Second, was my surprise for being left behind without explanations for someone else in a different country. Those cold winters, cuddles under thick blankets, and new songs that kept company till morning would be forgotten. The cold coffee had in that empty place and a mom that knew what was best for her son that was already gone, couldn’t respond to my questions anymore. A choice was made already.
“The only person that deserves a special place in your life is someone that never made you feel like you were an option in theirs.”Shannon L. Alder
Third, I gave up for a lost soul that couldn’t decide his path. Was better to leave behind what never could be possible when everything crumbled in front of eyes and broke in pieces that were about to change forever in my heart. The freedom and the courage to take control of any type of situation. Can’t be more thankful for that time. The rest of the time just vanished like it never been before, and if one day in front of me would be to see, I would just match a ghost that disappears and was never meant to be. The choice was made already.
Last, was what broke me the most and put me back in the best shape I ever had. The choice was in my favor and without that tower moment, I would never realize that matrixes are made for believers not for stubborn like me.
And then, was YOU. I have forgotten for one moment everything I knew before and I was trusting love again. One look, one moment, and everything got stoped. Working a whole life to clean the roads and to create a safe map for my journey and you put flowers on my way. Soft and delicate petals that took my breath away. You created the sweet smell of almond honey on your lips and cedarwood in your hair. You had the look and the charm for being admired a whole life further. Would not be enough to count the sparkles from my eyes, but was just a flash in the middle of the road. Nighttime can create illusions and not everything we see is real. Your look, like never did before; your touch, like never felt before; your kiss, that never felt the same. Crossroads again, and blinking light, turn right and left behind just dark. No silver moon, no shining stars, no wheels tracks, just the sign that was there for you to make the turn. Choices are made to change directions, but those choices change a person for the rest of life. Choices are made to messes up what you would never know and what you would never feel again. A choice was made again.
To move on from a choice is powerful and is weak, is never enough, and never again. Is the oath you make all the time, and the one you always break. The only way to escape a choice is to never be an option.
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”Steve Maraboli
I welcome you to follow the tale of that young lady who learned that every choice was made changed her life forever. She understood that she has no powers for other people’s choices and she continued to carry her curse, that some thought is a blessing…
….continue reading the rest of the tale in PART 16