We are asked usually at the end of the year, if our dreams are fulfilled and if we achieved the wishes we had. Well, after 365 days is a little hard to even remember what were the dreams we were thinking of last year unless we made a list or a dream board. The exception makes if the only thing we have done was to follow strictly the rules and to focus on the achievements only. The purpose of any year should be that everything must be unpredictable and unknown, otherwise, we are just following a script without anything in there exciting. Not all of us are so obedient, and we might be driven by passion and desires that break the stereotypes all along and can even have the power to change the wind for the mainsail. If the events from a whole year can fit in a page of the notebook, we should reconsider our way of living this life on Earth. I am not saying we have to backflip every day and try different foods and crazy sports and activities, but we should remember that this life is worth living if we are willing to feel it. We can see a picture of a beautiful sunset from our friends, trying to explain to us how wonderful that was, but we can feel the breeze and the joy of seeing those waves crashing to the shore? We can receive a bottle of pink sand from the Bahamas, or a black one from Hawaii, but we can fill it up with feelings and emotions? We might be comfortable on the couch, watching movies of destinations full of unexpected things, but we can truly live? Unless we pack our stuff and get out the door, all these dreams are going to waste. As well when we want to tell others how was our experience from a year in a minute of video. Do you really think that matters for anyone? No one else will understand what was in our hearts and what our eyes saw in life’s journey, because we have an individual call, no one came here for a conference one. What should not be for sure in our memories are regrets. Regrets cannot change a failed year, regret will follow us no matter where we go, but damn how heavy are and how much pain is in those little beads that stick on our minds and drain our souls. We should not leave regrets to fill our dreams and memories, even if we don’t have a recipe for happiness. Getting back to the initial point, to be able to review a whole year’s worth of events means we should live again our lives but are we strong enough to do so? Are we ready to hear conclusions from others about our experiences that they never felt? Are we able to taste the feedback from others that only hear a story about our life, like they are watching a movie from their couch?
“Summarizing is when you take a story that is complicated and interesting, then stick it in a microwave until it shrivels up into a tiny piece of black crunchy tarlike stuff. A wise man once said, “Any story, no matter how good, will sound really, really dumb when you shorten it to a few sentences.”
― Brandon Sanderson
We go through different stages of our lives, and sometimes we follow the pattern of a heartbeat diagram, with ups and downs. The people we meet in our journey can be part of our ascension after a fall or a downfall from a higher point. If we made it to the end of the year, maybe there were many of these moments, and is not relevant to conclude if were more ups or more downs. Keeping everything in a higher or lower place will bring tension and we cannot feel the flow of life, so don’t be upset when things were not in the right direction. We get lost in our journey, we stop too long and we run to catch the lost time. However, there is a script to follow when we live this life? If that would bring you joy, stop and watch those birds chirping, those flowers blooming, or anything that catches your attention, because there is not a strict pattern to follow in this life. There is time, because one day, those white nights or worries, that money, and all the values will not come with us. The other’s opinion and feedback, and everything that ever worried us will stay behind, and what we take with us is the memories we leave to be cherished. We enjoy it too, no doubt, but if we leave something for those who stay behind are the little things and the moments spent together. Is true that everyone will have a different experience from our life, but is that what matters the most? Yes, we are sad, we are happy and we are real because life is made of all of these. To say about someone that is not worth having your friendship, or is too weak, or maybe full of self, is so selfish. We don’t read souls, we only perceive others from our own beliefs and past experiences, that would make us be superior to others? How much is worth a heartbreak, or a loss? How much it hurts to go through an illness, or how much someone can enjoy the achievement after long work? We are so focused on ourselves and we don’t try others’ shoes, because we don’t have time and we have other priorities, but when we need friends we get upset for not being understood? I am sorry if your feelings are hurt by my words, but we are selfish and unfair. Why do we even care about others’ feedback when all they have is a slice of our pie, a small piece, or just an episode from our lives? We should show first compassion to others, to listen and understand before we judge and put labels. With our lives with should be more understanding, because sometimes we are the only ones that we have in our lives. Is not easy to pull yourself up and motivate to move forward. Is not easy to have to play on stage when you are the artist, the audience, and the judge, that’s why try to be kind to yourself, we might not have anyone else closer in this life. When everyone leaves and it gets quiet, we are alone with our dreams, with our failures, and with our expectations. Whatever stays in our powers is worth working hard, but if anything depends on others, don’t set your expectations too high and do not expect more than you can have for your own sake worth. Is going to save your soul and is going to make you feel better when we don’t have to prove more than we can have and when we don’t have to give more than can afford. Keep your self-esteem and self-confidence because those from outside don’t know your whole story.
“A man with a healthy self-esteem and self-confidence that is not fluctuating according to outside feedbacks,will not let himself be influenced by anyone around him.”
– Ursula Sandner
We are not going to satisfy others’ expectations, or probably we set ours too high anyway, and what is actually important is to have our own conclusions. We might be wrong and everything applies differently in every case, but if the last year made you get out of your comfort zone and push your limits maybe it was a good year after all. Is not easy to be stirred and swirl in a tornado without a direction, but to get out of it and follow a new path is so damn powerful. To follow your own instincts, to use your own reasons, and to come to your conclusions is the best achievement we can get out of any earthly experience. We don’t know where these paths are taking us, but after falling to be able to get up and put one foot in front of the other is motivating. To be able to conclude that we couldn’t took better decisions, even for that small portion of the journey is an empowering feeling. We got to the end of the year and we ask where will be the next destination? Who will come with us? How long will be our journey? Is that even important to worry about? We meet people that come with us only to the bus station and carry our luggage, others spend days or months traveling with us, and we keep some in our souls for a lifetime. We get distracted and our journey feels longer than anticipated but the delays are adding true values and memories to cherries. The destination is always unknown, but the journey should always be felt and embraced with everything that brings in. Don’t be afraid to try, to jump, to slow down, no matter what you’ll find, just don’t stop. We have hard nights that break our souls in pieces, but we also have tears that wash away all the pain. When the lights win in front of the night darkness is when we have another proof to stand up and keep on going, the truth brings strength and the journey is never ended when we try. Don’t be afraid and sad for a year that ended, as long as the new year starts, there is still hope. Life will flow, days will pass, just don’t waste them with regrets and worries. We can make it, you can make it worth living, worth feeling, and worth spending another year in this life on Earth.
“The only advice … that one person can give another about reading is to take no advice, to follow your own instincts, to use your own reason, to come to your own conclusions.”
― Virginia Wolf
Why things were not different? What could be changed? How I would do it next time? Who will be next to me? All these open-ended conclusions are not even relevant, because the year finished already. We get a new notebook to fill up with new adventures, but please promise that this year you will not have regrets like last time. One day will be the last day and no one else knows when will see you for the last time, who will kiss you or make love with you, when will be your last sunset or the last raindrop on your skin. We do not have just a year to fulfill our dreams, but a life that will only last, year, after year, until the end of time
….continue reading the rest of the tale in PART 67